There is no such thing as a private reality. By private reality I mean any portion of reality that you alone can experience, that no one else could possibly understand.
There is, however, reality that is yet unexperienced and unknown to you. Others may have experienced it before you, like explorers who have been to a far away place. If a philosopher is clever, it is possible that she found a way to imbue her words with such an experience. Since there are no private realities, it is also possible that you may be able to extract those experiences.
The allure of philosophy is then the allure of the unknown, the exotic and unexplored. To be charitable is to approach philosophy in search of some yet unknown bit of reality.
Under these circumstances it is futile to give specific instructions on how to be charitable; each of us must understand how to prepare ourselves for adventuring beyond the relative comfort of what we know.
If anything, have faith in yourself and do not make assumptions (even charitable ones) about what you are doing.